Upon reading that poorly written smut, I have come to the realization that it sounds like the pathetic rantings of someone who has only seen the action of his own right hand. Given with that thought it sounds also like he is a minute man, much like Jim from American pie.
Sounds like you got butt fucked as a child jesussever and you have some issues you need resolved. You are only talking like this because your safe in your daddy's basement where you will live your whole life. You would get your ass handed to you out in the real world if you spoke to any woman like that. Your only relations you will have with a woman is when your mom brings you down milk and cookies or when she tucks you into bed at night. May the Grim Reaper come find you & show you what true skull fucking is!